to a brighter future

I changed my mind.

I no longer am okay with who I am, knowing damn well I can be better. This isn’t to say that I loathe myself or even hold any sort of hostility towards the current version of me. I’m just so sick of hiding behind “you’re great as you are” and using that as a poor excuse to not work on myself and improve on where I lack. We all know that we’re not perfect but I’d like to know why we let that stop us  from trying to come anywhere close to it. If we at least tried to reach the impossible, we’d come pretty close to the best version of ourselves and really, that’s all I’m asking for at the moment.

Having said all that, from now on I vow to work on who I am in all aspects that need improvement and focus on my well-being so that I continue to be motivated to do and be better.

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memories of times past pt.2

“Domestic Violence”

What is love?

It’s done me no good
Heartache and pain
And nothing to gain
A yearning soul
A deceived mind
A number 2 pencil
Jabbed in my eye
Cigarette burns
Nothing learned
A faded stitch
And I still haven’t learnt shit
A bracelet of bruises
Resembling diamonds and rubies
I claimed to love him
But I ask now

What is love?

Does it keep you doubting your decision?
Does it keep you thinking all night?
Is the suffer worth the look in his eye?
The one I see only when I try to say goodbye.

What is love?

:B14

memories of times past – pt.1

“Jokes On You”

I felt the pain

The searing heat of the night

Too much to take 

Yet it felt so right

You had my heart

But you chose to turn away

By Lord’s name

I swore to make you pay

Now I sit

To write pity words of you

Why oh why

It seems so obvious but it feels so new

You rushed through trust 

To find us love

But love is never to be forced

Thus the death of our white dove

Rock a bye baby

Jokes on you

I’ve moved on

How about you?

: B14

Genesis

For a long time, I thought about how I wanted to start this blog and how I could possibly introduce myself without putting you all (pretty audacious of me to think I’ll pass the use of the pronoun ‘both’  and have enough readers to address as ‘all’) to sleep. It took forever but I finally decided intros are overrated. I’ll post some of my old work (each from a different phase of my life) as a sort of origin or “genesis” for this blog and allow them to speak for me or rather show you a bit of my “style”. If, after reading them, you’re still interested in knowing why I’m writing or what this blog stands for, feel free to wait and see as even I, am trying to figure that out. Thank you in advance for coming on this journey with me.